Ah, Dominic Wolf. The fearless German social media influencer who will stop at nothing to shine a spotlight on all that is good in Colombia. The man who is spreading a positive image of Colombia far and wide. The man for which the Colombian Foreign Affairs Ministry denied a visa recently. Are they ashamed of him insisting that the country is a paradise on Earth? Well, no. They’re just doing their job well, for once.
Let’s look a little closer at what happened to Dom Quixote. He didn’t meet the requirements for the visa he applied for. It was deemed inadmissible, not rejected, meaning that he can immediately apply again for the correct visa. But as a Youtuber with a large following, he couldn’t just let the incident slide. So instead of quietly going through the visa process again, Wolf seized on the denial as an opportunity to create a series of YouTube videos.
It’s how the Millennial generation make a big stink when things don’t go their way. He fled back to Germany as fast as possible when Covid-19 landed in Colombia, only returning this month to the country he loves so dearly, presumably on a 90-day tourist visa.
Truly, Wolfie is a hero for our times, the self-proclaimed first man to brandish the tricolor flag at the Brandenburg Gate. The man who may (possibly, just) have been the first non-Colombian to bandy the flag at the landmark, but certainly not the first person. But let’s not let facts get in the way of a good yarn. Parroting clichés about Colombia is much too important. It’s hard to take someone seriously when they claim they don’t want special consideration in an entire video devoted to just that.
He says he promotes Colombia to the world, but it’s largely not true. If he did, he would throw a few English videos into the mix. He’s so devoted to spreading the good word about Colombia abroad that he doesn’t bother to reach out to non-Spanish speakers. What he does is sell Colombia to Colombians, given that all his videos are highly Colombian-centric and in Spanish. I understand it, if you’re used to seeing a one-sided Narcos-style presentation of your country, and along comes a guy that says he loves Colombia (what’s not to love?) you’d be smitten too, right?
There’s a certain type that make these videos. They’re white guys, usually blond, often with blue eyes. They fit a foreign stereotype that Colombians so love to see. When this Aryan ideal then espouses Colombia in glowing terms and in near-perfect Spanish, most Colombians swoon. Like some silver-tongued charmer or cynical gold-digger, they say what Colombian society wants to hear and then reap the rewards (paid probably in mountains of poon-tang). There’s a cynicism to all this that is deeply unpalatable.
He’s not alone, either. There’s a whole niche industry devoted to puffing up the Colombian image, and it arguably all started by an even more eccentric influencer: Zach Morris (no, we’re not talking about the 90s sitcom character). Another Colombophile and Youtuber, this is the guy who moved to Tunja, a city where there’s basically nothing to do, and spent most of his time hyping it up.
His big breakout piece was about the 10 things he saw as superior in Colombia compared to his home country of the US. Now, there are lots of reasons to enjoy living in Colombia, including plenty of decent food. But can you take a guy seriously when he says, “in Colombia everything is fresh … in my country a lot of food is fried”? I mean, that’s just willfully covering the sun with your finger.
I guess it works though — for all his fawning and bowing, Zachcito was recently made a Colombian citizen, getting all the perks that come with it. Get him in line for military service, say I! Let’s see if he so willingly blows sunshine up Colombia’s arse when he has to apply for a visa to travel to almost any other country in the world. Oh wait, why would he bother to do that? He still has his US passport after all.
Pawns of the Establishment
If you’ve made it this far, you might be asking yourself, so what? They’re entitled to their own opinions, and are they doing any harm? Well, yes, fundamentally they are. What’s dangerous about these guys is that they undermine balanced reporting. Journalists spend time making sure they have the facts straight and understand a situation. They do this to make sure that they give an accurate picture as much as is possible.
But why bother portraying an accurate picture? In an Instaworld, it’s easier and more profitable just to puff up an image. It is a meal ticket for Wolf and for Morris. Give people what they want, and you’ll get endless likes and praise. They also take such a liberal approach to facts that they fuel the fire of those who claim journalists are lazy hacks churning out fake news. When many people shun dedicated journalism in favour of YouTube influencers and Instagram stars, you know society is in decline.
There’s little of anything new in their social media content. It’s more a repackaging of all the hoary old clichés — things about how Colombian coffee is great (we all know that) and how tejo is a right laugh (if you can remember the next morning). Both Wolf and Morris are essentially clapping sea lions whose honking sounds drown out more thoughtful, challenging content, because who pays attention to a nudibranch when there’s a sea lion honking away?
Worse still, they’re supporting the establishment. These are not people that are challenging the system and presenting a bold or even original view of the country. Their presentation of Colombia is so in line with the government that it could almost be a Ministry of Culture or a ProColombia propaganda campaign.
It’s worth remembering that the establishment co-opted both of these guys. Wolfie was barely off the plane before he was invited to meet the vice-minister of foreign affairs, and the normal citizenship rules were cast aside for Zachcito. Call me cynical, but anyone friendly with the establishment in Colombia leaves me deeply suspicious. These are not people brave enough to tell the truth and to hell with the consequences, these are people cleverly choosing their words for maximum adulation and to reinforce the status quo.
Consider also the privilege they receive. Zachcito doesn’t have to complete military service. He doesn’t have to take any of the negatives of being Colombian, only the positives. He doesn’t have to face the reality that many people see in Colombia. He and Wolfie are treated like the finest of lapdogs, fed on foie gras and pampered in luxury even as they claim to eat arepas every day.
Right now Colombia is denying visas left right and centre, especially to foreign journalists. Families are being split up, freelancers and foreign correspondents are sent packing, investors are being denied for frivolous reasons. Dominic wasn’t even denied, just asked to reapply. Imagine a Colombian in Germany, with a visa close to expiry, clamouring for a visa on social media instead of pursuing the matter through the proper channels, because they have nobly deigned to present a positive view of Germany and have tens of thousands of followers on social media. It’s hard to imagine that going down well.
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